Dorian and the Former Templar
by HowltheGreat
Summary: Dorian visits Cullen on a rainy night to ask about his relationship with the Champion of Kirkwall and fellow mage, Seren Hawke. Sequel to Dorian and the King and Cullen/Hawke and His Lingering Regrets.


There were three faint knocks on the commander's door. His eyes turned away from the parchment he held and rose from his chair to answer. Hinges creaked as he peeked to see who it was at first before giving way for the door to be opened entirely and looked surprised to see Dorian standing outside in the rain. "Please, come in," he offered with a hand gesture. The open skylight in the loft had been covered in a tight canvas to keep the water out and the fireplace was lit for warmth. "I'm surprised you would brave the weather to come see me in person," he said as he shut the door behind the mage. "Is something the matter?"

"Nothing of note, no," Dorian replied as he scanned over whatever Cullen had been reviewing, shifting a few papers around without any sort of permission. "I came to ask you something, actually, if you had some spare time. With the weather, I assumed your duties in the field are postponed?"

"They have been, yes. I've been...suggested to by the medics not to have recruits doing drills in the wet and cold, less I wanted over thirty grown men huddled in the infirmary like last time." There was an audible scoff as Cullen crossed his arms and leaned against the edge of his desk. "A far cry from when I was trained, for sure, but you know how the Inquisitor is about such things." Dorian laughed and he pulled a small stool in a corner closer to the fireplace to straddle.

"Vesper can be sympathetic. He's also one of the mages that would be in the infirmary wiping runny noses and the like. I can see why he wouldn't be eager to do that."

"Suppose I'm lucky how his father isn't much for mending wounds or keeping fevers down then," the commander smiled to himself. "So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? You're not a healer either, so it can't be about sickly soldiers."

"Ah, well," he nodded. "Speaking of Hawke, I wanted to actually ask you a bit more of your…history together. While I find it hard to fathom that King Alistair has been married to a man all these years without being overthrown, I find the love story between the Templar and mage not being tragic even more unbelievable...which sounded a lot less offensive in my head…" The face Cullen made at the statement was recognizable of Dorian treading on thin ice with the subject, but was slowly exhaled out of existence.

"I wouldn't say Hawke and I haven't had our share of tragedy, Dorian. We both lost a great deal in the war and even before, him even more so. His father passed away just before the Blight, his sister while trying to escape it, and his mother was murdered by a blood mage in a random killing. Not to mention afterwards," he defended his relationship. "Really, if you wanted to know more about it, you can ask the man himself. I'm sure he's in the tavern at this hour."

"Well, no." A head was shaken as Dorian tried to explain his line of questioning. "I understand him. The fear mages had, and still have really, with Templars is something I greatly comprehend. What I'm wondering is how you, a man of the Chantry and..well, let's be honest, a mage hunter, ended up in a blissfully happy co-existence, dare I say, romance, with someone you were trained, actually trained for years, to oppress?" Cullen's eyes widened once again as he finally realized what Dorian was meaning to say.

"Oh," he sighed and uncrossed his arms. "You mean how do I love someone I was brainwashed into feeling more superior than? I suppose you struggle with this yourself with Vesper then? As a Tevinter, you must feel more _magely_ than he's supposed to be?" There was a tease to his voice, but was actually rather serious.

"I...don't know about that," Dorian shrugged as he thoughtfully rubbed his mustache with his index finger. "When we first met as children, sure. I was a real nobleman and the Trevelyans were southerners who had more gold than others in the area, but their mage son was still sent away to the Tower. It was...confusing, to say the very least. You hear such horror stories back home on the ruthless jailers of ill-breed mages here too afraid to rise up and take their rightful place. When the war began, I admit a large part of my return to this land was to rescue my dear friend, only to find him in charge of an army without a clue who I was." Sadness lingered at the end of his statement as his eyes drifted to the floor.

"Hawke and I met before Kirkwall, if you must know," Cullen attempted to brighten the mood. "It was roughly five years before the Blight when I was stationed in Lothering for some training before taking my vows. Lothering is...was a small town near a large forest, so it was far enough away to practice more dangerous Templar skills away from civilians. He had just returned from the Free Marches since his father had passed and I caught him spying on us from the end of the courtyard. I was actually training with the future king, though neither one of us knew it then."

"Really?" Dorian perked up to pay more attention. "Was it a young love romance then?" Cullen smiled as he scratched the back of his neck.

"It was...brief. Lasted just the summer before I took my vows and was stationed at the Circle, though he doesn't remember...I don't think."

"You've never asked?" Dorian laughed.

"Well, it's not as if I would know what to say…"

"How about, _You plucked my fruit as it was just ripening from the vine_? I assume there was a great deal of... _plucking_...going on?"

"...It's possible," snickered the commander. "He didn't even tell me his real name. Said he was a dragon in human form and when I asked him to prove it, he took a bunch of roses and blew petals at my face instead. After we met again in Kirkwall, I at first wondered why he did so, since he can actually create fire, before it dawned on me that he was a mage and I was nearly a Templar then."

"And knowing you, you would have turned him in to be locked in the tower," mumbled the magic user in the room.

"Actually, yes. In all honestly, I would have. I realized he was spying because he and his sister were both mages and we were the enemy. He didn't tell me who he was to protect his family, but he never hated me for it. Even in Kirkwall, as an apostate to a Knight-Captain, he still treated me like any other of his friends, regardless of how actually dangerous I was to him."

"It must have been difficult for both of you if there were feelings involved, especially after the incident with the Chantry."

"Aye," Cullen nodded and he pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking straight ahead in thought. "I thought he may have forgotten me, that I was just another Templar in his eyes. Still, he used magic in an attempt to rescue me from a demon attack knowing full-well I could have jailed him for it. I suppose he's just like that though, saving random strangers regardless of consequences."

"Are you sure he didn't notice it was his long-lost boy toy in need of rescuing?"

"I was turned away, so he only saw my backside."

"My question stands. I would most definitely recognize _your_ backside." Cullen gave a nervous laugh and promptly adjusted his position when Dorian leaned forward for a closer inspection.

"If he did, he surely didn't act like it. At least, not right away and Hawke is known for involving himself in questionable situations. By all rights, I should have reported him then, but his good deeds were a perfect experiment." Dorian crinkled his nose at the remark.

"You mean to test whether or not a loose apostate would bring down your precious civilization?"

"Well, yes," Cullen agreed bluntly. "Personal feelings aside, we wanted to see if there would ever be a chance to reform the Circles. If they could be trusted in the field with other soldiers. And it worked, in theory. Hawke was a valued asset to the Templars and even talked down other mages from rebelling. Well, except for Anders, but we all know what happened there."

"He was romantically linked to Anders at the time though, if the story Varric spins is any sort of accurate. First Fenris, then a quick romp with the lady pirate, then Anders."

"It was actually Fenris, me, Isabella, then Anders. Varric knew about our...encounter, but chose to leave it out. Thankfully."

"For both your sakes then? The symbol of mage freedom being written as a lover of his Templar jailer wouldn't be nearly as respected and I'm sure you would have lost your post as well...but how did...I mean, If I may be so bold to ask, how did the two of you…?"

"Ha." The laugh was a bit shallow and yet sad to hear. "I may have carried feelings from Lothering with me, all rattled of course when I discovered he was a mage. My thoughts on mages in general were…" he paused to take in a deep breath. "After being tortured the Ferelden Tower, I was transferred for being...overly zealous with my disciplining and accusations. When King Alistair and Prince Izarre were crowned, they relaxed the rules to nearly nothing. The mages had their lives spared by the Hero and being a mage himself, the prince convinced the Knight-Commander to return to more traditional ways. Mages were allowed to visit their homes, accompany the guard on patrols, become stationed as local healers, and even become ambassadors. The halls were opened to anyone who even wished to study magical theory. I just...I had lost my way and Kirkwall's Gallows better agreed with me."

"You were tortured, Cullen. Any man in your position would leave with scars on both the inside and out."

"Still," Cullen shrugged. "Being with Hawke before I knew his true self and seeing what he did for those around afterwards...Those feelings changed. The nightmares began to fade. After his mother died, he locked himself away for weeks. When he did emerge, he stumbled drunkenly into my chambers and begged me to turn him over to Meredith. He had lost his remaining parent to a blood mage and had convinced himself that all mages were dangerous, even himself. I...couldn't bear to see him in such a state and told him that he was not a threat, magic or not."

"And then he looked at you with those loving green beautiful eyes and you crumpled like wet parchment."

"...You're not far off." Dorian laughed at this, feeling the tension ease for a moment before he took a minute to think. "But, you were still a Templar and he a mage. So...it was just that one night, wasn't it?" The commander nodded yet again.

"We both had similar unspoken thoughts. Were we to be exposed, he would have been locked in the Gallows and likely made tranquil. I would have been removed from the order, if not imprisoned or put to death. Neither one of us wanted that for the other, so it was neatly ended as soon as it began. He then started to see Anders...which was awful."

"Though if not for him, you wouldn't be openly together now. He was what forced the changes, for better or worse." Groaning, Cullen moved to sit back down in his office chair.

"You're right. I respect Anders to standing for what he believed in, regardless of the methods. When he destroyed the Chantry, I thought Hawke knew of the plan, but he looked to me in such panic and fear. He looked at me like any scared and cornered mage would look in fear of their life from a Templar's sword. He had never looked at me like that before and...it broke me. It took me far too long to realize I was on the side trying to kill him and the other innocent people he was trying to protect. I was on the side of dark madness fueled by a lyrium addiction. Even though I turned on Meredith in the end, it was too late. He was scared of me, something I never thought could happen. I know that he will always carry that fear with him. I am the hound to his fennec. I am, as you said, a mage hunter and he will always be the prey."

"But you love him regardless, which all that really matters."

"I do and I'm willing to spend a lifetime to redeem myself for my actions that day. To not be the coward I once was who wasn't good enough to stand by his side the moment he needed me the most."

"He loves you too, you know," Dorian said as he stood and came to put a hand on Cullen's shoulder. "As someone who also has a history of relationships ending terribly, I can tell the difference between two people mending each other's wounds rather than making them worse. It's a delicate thing, so while he may also fear you in a way, you're obviously scared too. Honestly, that's not so terrible when you think about it." Cullen huffed at this, refusing to make eye contact. "I was scared of Vesper too. Still am, in a way. When we first met, he looked at me, laughed at my clothes, then took my hand telling me we were going on an adventure."

"That hasn't changed much then, has it?" Cullen relaxed and chuckled.

"No, it really hasn't! We explored his estate's entire courtyard where he built a fake treasure hunt. It was a disaster! There were pit holes he dug, spiders, rain, and I chipped a tooth, but he was there to get me through it. This brown-skinned, snowy-haired child younger than I was the bravest person I had ever met. As adults, you're right, he hasn't changed, but I have. I grew into the less gangly beauty you see before you and realized that Hawkes smile through the pain and remain silent when they need you to most. If you're the one he returns to at night, I don't think you have anything to worry about. They are loyal as mabaris...and that isn't just a snipe for them being dog lords."

"...Did you really come to ask me about Hawke or just to cheer me on?"

"Hmm, maybe a bit of both. It's less awkward supporting your side of the sexual equation than Vesper's own father." Cullen body shook as he chuckled as he shook his head.

"I should get back to work, though it was nice to...speak to someone not technically a direct relative of the family for once."

"We are brother-in-arms in taming this lot. Should throw a picnic one day. Just myself, you, and Alistair while sipping wine, eating cheeses, and badmouthing our Hawke spouses."

"I may take you up on that. Can you see yourself out?" Dorian nodded, giving a bow before heading towards the door. Opening it revealed a rather moist Champion of Kirkwall, who had been outside for who know's how long. While startled, Dorian nodded to Hawke as he hurried out and let the other in. Cullen looked surprised as well, standing to have his face grabbed by wet hands and kissed deeply.

"I love you," Seren grinned as he stayed within nose caressing distance. Cullen felt his face flush as he touched the fingers on his cheeks.

"...Sly bastard." Their eyes locked, sharing a shy smile before kissing again.


End file.
